Just had a meeting with supervisors. We decided few things. First, I will be my supervisor’s first priority. I will submit thesis by August 2011. Good to know that I am still supported. Secondly, I will resign from teaching this semester. After long consideration, I think this is not the right time to teach. There should be another top priority, which is completing my study. No conference, no more obstacles, only focus on experiment and writing thesis. I had a few problems with the paper that I wrote. My supervisor said that it seems that the reviewer really hates my paper. Yes, I can feel that… 2 months revising while looking at the reviewer’s feedback make me feel the stupid person in the world. Good then. What I need to do is write a very good chapter of it. I still have three conference papers. And I can write journals after finishing the thesis.
This meeting kind a make me feel relieved. My two colleagues have submit their thesis. And it is my turn to do so. In the group meeting, almost everyone has a very charmful and glowing prestige with their papers published. So, all right… now it’s time to finish your thesis, write your originality.
No teaching also means no income. My scholarship finishes this February. So, until August, because I hope I can start teaching again in August, I have no income. That means our income will only relies on ayah. But he’s very supporting actually. He can read my panicking and try to help as he can. With only only one scholarship, it is very hard to put on. I try to list all the expense: childcare, renting, bills, tickets, petrol, and you know.. hoho.. it only leaves us $100 a month for food! So, I guest I have to use my saving until the middle of the years. But no teaching also makes me feel relieves. Eventhough I can’t get extramoney, the time spent on teaching can reach 12 hour a week. And I am not like other single student that can be in the office from morning to late night. I am mom and wife. I have to cook for dinner, play and teach my son, sing him a lullaby, massage him and take him a bath before bed. So my time pretty much 9.30 to 4.30. So now I am starting to work during early dawn as well, from 4am to 7am. Then prepare to go to office.
Anyway, no pain no gain. Perhaps this gonna be the toughest year for us. I am in the fourth year and ayah is in the third year. But It will also exciting.. finding new knowledge… Bismillah.. Ya Allah guide us through all this obstacles….