End of October

End of October, about 5/6 year has passed. Only two months left in 2013. 

This year is quite exciting; got PhD, graduated, moving oversea back to home country, settle down in my home town, being academics at my almamater, and now expecting another baby (again). It looks simple, but trust me, doing all those is quite exhausting. But in the end, I’ll always being grateful for what I have. 

Four months on, we are settling down quite well. Husband and I love working at the university; sometimes we are exhausted because of too much works to do (and no money yet), but at the same time we are proud and happy to share our expertise to the students, other colleagues, and the university. 

For the kids…, I know Affan sometimes miss his friends in Melbourne, and he said when he’s grown up he would like to go back to Melbourne. I really do wanna go back to Melbourne. Hopefully next couple years I can apply for some research grant and bring the kids there to visit their friends. There’s no playground in the neighbourhood, and I limit the kids to play outside too for some reason (germs, diseases etc). We did bring lots and lots of toys, books, and handcrafting, so the kids get busy at home, assisted with the carer.

But I agree.. I am grateful having a good carer for my kids, especially Arfa, so for know I feel okay to work during the day while the carer caring my kids. Yes there’s some guilty feeling, jealousy feeling, but I couldn’t have it all; I couldn’t be at work and be with the kids at the same time. So I think I am quite over it, just try to work professionally and smart during the day, and be with the kids at the end of the day. But I have to admit, I really need to increase my capacity to teach my kids to learn at home; Affan with the Indonesian language and writing; Arfa with his development. 

I guess I’m quite lonely too. Just realised I am missing my friends so much in Melbourne. We’re much like a family: gathering every week, have a laugh & cooking together while the kids playing and the dads playing PS3… Indeed I really miss those activities. Now every weekend is quite monotone; going to mall, or having a morning walk, and the best family time is cuddling up together watching movies, or playing games.  

But anyway, for myself, some target must be reviewed and refreshed. Hopefully next year or two I can be a full academics (now still academics assistant), publish some papers, get some grants, do some industrial project, and ideally of course still caring the kids and help them grow and be what they want to be (in the right corridor, of course). I still need to take a break, maybe 4 months or so after giving birth to baby number 3 next March/April, because I think, of course it won’t be wise to leave newborn until he/she finish exclusive breastfeeding. 

So, Mama Academics, keep fighting!

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